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The men...

AY came; and then there was Nhyira, then Verone, then came the Pastor and then the other one who always circled in and out.

Ohh... not forgetting the others who clearly had hopes. 

She was in there because they saw her potential.
One was direct, at least: "I see that you are one who is going to go very far in life and I want to be part of it". He said it in another way. It still was the same.

It was either her beauty or the clear sight of her future... she all could tell would be great.

"Who will come to me because he wants to serve me as much as I want to do same for him"
"Who will say both in words and in deeds that he truly cared for her and was concerned about her future and not about what he was going to get in return?"

Ohhh... there was one she didn't include. He.

He had expressed love and care... in words...
She wasn't willing to give in.
She took her mind of it.
She wasn't going to allow herself get hurt all over again.

She loved when they spoke over the phone.
She lit up when she heard him smile or giggle. She liked it.

But the 'circler' was a hard one to forget so easily...

...she was willing to go the extra mile for him.
She wanted to serve him in any way possible...even the unimaginable.
She told God about how she felt for him.
She knew him. 
He was selfish. But, she pay attention to her gut.
He wanted to eat his cake and have it. 
Eventually, her senses came back in good time...

But, she couldn't help being hurt at her own self.
she couldn't believe that she was capable of letting go of herself and her dignity because of the 'circler'.
He played with her emotions. He rocked it like a cradle.
...and still she stayed...

Thank God she left. 

Yet, she was so embellished by this last one that the words "I love you" hurt her and scared her at the same time... even when He told her.

Trust? Her defenses were up. 
She wouldn't dare give herself on a silver platter any more.

Another one? She thought to herself as He came to mind.

She had been thinking about him all weekend. 
He knew she was was a hurting one when they last spoke.
He told her not to dwell on the past.

He reminded her that "perfect love casts away all fear"
What if they were mere words?
What if he has a glib tongue?

Yet, she couldn't take her mind off him.

"Lord, please help me find You", she prayed.

She knew too well that she needed that filling only Daddy could give her.
 "Lord, touch me. I need Your affection"...


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