SHARING LIFE

Desire is not enough. Desire is not enough. Desire is not enough. If there be anyone with the desire to know Who God Is and to have true intimacy with Him, that would be me. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. Why am I still in this desire stage? Because desire does not always bring results. You have got to press in. What do I mean by pressing in? It means 'show up'.  I realise that unlike the woman in Songs of Solomon who went out and searched and searched until she found the one in whom her soul loved, I for one did not do that. I showed up by searching...a while...and then I went back to sleep. This makes me wonder..."Was I hungry enough for God?" I don't think so. Whoever I am today has been informed by my past and so it makes me wonder whether if there is something about my growing-up that has caused me to have a very relaxed attitude to 'pressing in'. I am thinking that there should be a c

I used to be that girl who would go through things and keep them to herself. Medically, I have had and still sometimes have episodes that I haven't shared to any doctor simply because I don't think they last long enough for me to pay much attention to. Very recently I find myself in a place where I am forced to divulge every pain or 'episode' I have had over a span of 15years.  Coming to this point means that I have to think about the possibility of death. You see, I do not fear death. I only fear dying and not having expended all the potential Daddy placed on the inside of me... this is what scares me. It would really really pain me. Aside all these, I am learning something about Who my(Our) Father Is. See, Daddy likes no superficial walk with Him. When He takes You, He goes in real deep and He brings to light all the murkiness in your life...even hidden medical issues. These things are so private that I haven't made mention of these to my parents..

I gave my life to Jesus in the Senior High School. Soon afterwards, I was whisked into leadership because I was told that the leaders had received a word from the Lord concerning my nomination.  I felt I wasn't ready because I was going through some challenges back then. I didn't have self-control when it came to eating and my eating habits were so bad that at a point, my colleague in class and my table-mate embarrassed me pretty well.  I was told that Daddy had called me, so I went ahead and I accepted the call. I went to the University and I had this messed up "God-said-you-are-my-wife" relationship that tore me up and led me to denounce God in the process. Then I had the privilege of working for a Reverend Minister who continued to tell me that I needed growth. I didn't know what that meant...and I sincerely wished someone told me what it meant. I thought I knew what that meant later on: studying scripture, remembering scripture, keeping a blog,