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Showing posts from April, 2017

Selflessly selfish

Ending of the year 2016, I was so eager to be knowledgeable in the things of Papa. I wanted to be better equipped to serve my girls in St. Louis SHS better. I was concerned because I didn't want to give them any advise outside Papa's will... generally, I didn't want to be out of tune with Papa in serving others. For this reason, I was willing to pray hard and work the hardest for it.  (I am very grateful for this season...) Very recently, I realised something that has completely changed my outlook on life in general. It is good to serve. Infact, our gifts and life are for service. But, I have realised, by the sole help of Holy Spirit that in desiring to equip myself to be of better service to others, I must first desire to be of better service to myself. Honestly, for some years now, I have always asked that Papa prepares me so that I may be better, for the sake of the souls attached to my destiny. Pious as this request may sound, it shifts my attention from

In seeking Him, I became.

I thought that I had to know so much before seeking God. I thought that I had to be full of ‘the Word’ first before seeking His face in prayer. I thought that I had to be pure before I could seek Him. I thought that I had to be clean before seeking Him. I thought I had to have figured out a lot of things about this life before I sought Him. I thought I had to know Him quite well enough before I could speak to Him. No… I have learnt that it was when I went in my nothingness that I became everything. I have learnt that in approaching Papa in my nakedness, He was able to clothe me in His warmth and provide me with efficiency in my deficiencies. When I sought Him, I became a hardworker. When I sought Him, I became clean. When I sought Him, I became pure. When I sought Him, I became better. I only changed and became, when I sought Him whiles I was deficient. In this walk of ours, the first step is to approach Papa in your truth. “Come as you are”, He

Yielded; the moment I surrendered

I cannot remember the last time I’d cried so hard about anything concerning my life… until this past week. I want to be empty so that Holy spirit can have unlimited access in my body. People sell their souls to the devil… I have sold all three faculties to Holy Spirit. I have always known that I am willing to withhold nothing, just so that He can have all the access He desires. But, when Papa told me about His desire for my time… especially my mornings, I knew that was the hardest thing I could ever do. To someone, this is nothing. But to me, it is major major… Immediately, I knew I couldn’t do it… without His help. So, I cried… first, out of guilt because of the many years I had withheld my morning and my time from Him. Second, I cried harder because I knew I couldn’t do it. “Lord, help me. I can’t do this on my own.”, I cried. He heard my cry. He gave me strength to wake up. He really did. He directed me. It felt good. Then I got there, and I didn’t know wha

Yielded; the prayer I failed to say

I recall when I was told at the beginning of this year that I was making baby steps in my spiritual growth. I felt offended and at the same time, very confused. I remember when I was told by another person that I wasn’t shooting up spiritually. I thought to myself, “This man does not know what he is saying. Ha!” I knew I could do better. I knew I was meant to be better, but I was very relaxed. Very very relaxed. But after I was told these things, especially by my father-in-the-Lord (fithL), I was determined to build myself up. You should have seen me at the beginning of this semester. I was in so much of a hurry to build myself up. I was reading and studying like something. Eventually, I had forgotten Who the real Builder was and Is. I had forgotten that the clay can never be the Potter. I had forgotten that it was Holy Spirit’s duty to do the building… and not me. In my frustration, I was telling my fithL about how much I had to do on myself and how sad I

Faithfullness in the little things

I was going to embark on a 21-day fast, starting yesterday (05/04/17). I felt that I was in need of a deep sensitivity to the happenings in the spirit realm. I wanted to engage my heavenly portals. I was all fired-up! I went to one of my favourite book sellers to purchase a book… I ended up buying four new books! Oooh! I was preparing so well. Upon reading one of the books, I cried as I prayed to Daddy. I was telling Him of how much I needed Him and what I was willing to forfeit for it.  Mehhnnn! I was willing to forfeit the big things for Him… really. In one of the books I purchased, Ps. Benny Hinn was talking about the fact that the anointing requires constant communion with Our Lord, Jesus Christ, and how that form of fellowship would require a lot of sacrifices… including a simple thing as forfeiting a lunch date with relatives (as was his case). So I told Daddy, that I didn’t mind losing the one I deeply love for His sake… including my desire for a fa

Child-like faith...

This evening, whiles I was buying food, I heard a little boy singing, “I will never never never forget Jesus. I will never, I will never. I will never never never forget Jesus. I will never forget my Lord.” My eyes were filled with tears as I listened to this little one. I want this child-like faith and enthusiasm. I want this child-like ‘thing’ that makes one trust Father completely. I want the vulnerability that comes with being a child…a child of The King. I want to be free to ask for what I need and want and not fear that Daddy will not grant them. I want the audacity to go into His presence at any time and not be bothered about protocol, because He Is my Father! I want to be bold and honest about who I am, how I am and what I am. Yes, He knows already. But. I still want to let Him know. I want to be a child to my Father forever. I do not want to think that as I grow, things must change and so I have to ‘woman’ up… so much so that I must realise that I cann