SHARING LIFE

Today, my quiet time was from 1Kings 3:3 It talks about how Solomon had a love for God and obeyed his father, David's, decrees. I learnt today that a love for God will inspire in my heart a deep regard and honour for my parents. Even to the point where I will see the wisdom in their corrections, rebuke and  direction. Holy Spirit taught me that it won't be something I have to force myself to do but rather, spending time with Him will change my heart towards my parents. I find this helpful because my relationship with my mum isn't the best. It is hard to find a common/neutral ground to communicate and so I am hopeful that as I spend time with the Lord, my heart for mummy will change and I will place value on her corrections because she really is a great woman.

My quiet time today was from Deuteronomy 6:5. I learnt that to love the Lord with my heart is to be intentional about making time for fellowship with Holy Spirit.  To love the Lord with my soul is to make Him and His word my perspective for life and the filter for my emotions. What hit my spirit the most is when I learnt that to love the Lord with my strength means service.  I have learnt that I cannot love the Lord and not have a heart for service to Him and Christ's Body.  I must have the heart and mind of a servant at all times, even when I don't feel like it.

I learnt from my quiet time (Numbers 25:11-13 ; Hebrews 11) today that my zeal for God Is capable of preserving my entire nation.  Therefore in pursuing God, I should have it in mind that it's not just about me but it's about what God Is able to do for others because of me.  Also, I learnt that having faith in God brings me into right standing with Him because it pleases Him. That is why faith in Him is credited unto me as righteousness.  Also, having faith in God gives me perspective and sharpens my focus because I look to Him only and not what's happening around me. 

I have made my bed in this quagmire for so long I think it is now time for me to get up.  In this post, I am not going to try to have the right words but I will write as I feel it.  It took a lot to close this chapter.  It took more than a year and I don't know why I had such a tough time letting go.  We never were physical (thank God) but it amazes me how long it has taken me to get to this point.  I think the reason for this is that I connected with your spirit.  I don't know how that works but with you, I felt like I had always known you.  You always were a part of me and I didn't have to try so hard.  With you, I just flowed.  I was caught in your words. You words built in me a security which assured me that no matter what happened, we were always going to end up with each other.  These same words became my prison sentence because whenever I had wanted to move on and let someone new in, I would be reminded of those words, haunting me and telling me my effort