My boyfriend; my husband

Dear Sister,

LETTER OF CONCERN

I have been thinking of how best to put this piece across to you in a way that does not tear you down, but instead, edifies you, in love.

Darling, I believe that one of the reasons Papa allowed me to go through the many relationship issues was because He trusted that as a Torchbearer, He could trust me to shine His light in order for you to avoid certain pitfalls in life, especially in the issue of love.

The first part in the series of letters I will be writing to you in the coming weeks is what I call, “My boyfriend my husband’.

Baby, one wish I have for you is that as my sister, you do not go through the things I have been through. My greatest desire is that you have little or no regrets in life, especially when it comes to issues relating to the mistakes I have already committed.

My love, your boyfriend is not your husband.

Please, stop giving pieces of yourself to the man who is dating you…or even courting you.

There was a time I gave pieces of myself to the young man I was in a love relationship with. He was not the only one I dated…you can imagine the number of people who have had a part of me that I should have reserved only for my married husband.

When I sit back to reflect on my life, and on my actions in the past, I cannot help but feel sad because I should have done better. But I didn’t…

As your big sis, I am telling you this because I do not want you feeling sad and feeling sorry for the man who will love you enough to take you to the altar.

I have been reading a book by the late Dr. Myles Munroe titled, “Waiting and Dating”. I firmly stand by his words when he says that the spiritual and soulish levels of both male and female should be connected on a deeper level before the physical. Mind you, the physical should only be reserved for after marriage.

I want you to find love and be happy about it.

I do not want you having the guilt attached to living a life that shouldn’t be.

I want you to hug and caress the man you love and not feel bad about it because we all know you have taken the appropriate rite of passage.

I want you to freely kiss your man and not fear who is watching because he is yours…legally and spiritually.

The wait is not easy but I believe it is very possible.

This part of the letter is for the both of you.

This is what I suggest…

The both of you should set a time where you discuss your relationship.

Decide on the ‘dos’ and the “don’ts” of your relationship.

Afterwards, get an accountability partner, preferably an older couple or adult who will watch over your relationship and ensure that you go by the rules you have set.

Rules are not a pleasant thing. But, they sure do help us keep watch on ourselves. Trust me, it is for your good.

Now this is to you, young man…

Let me tell you the truth…ladies are not so naïve as they may appear to be.

Your presence in their lives tends to make them let go of their guard and be vulnerable, just so that you lead them.

No lady wants a man who must be told what to do and how to do it and when to do it.

Once she says yes, that means she expects you to lead her.

The thing is, she is not telling you what to do because she does not want to lose the respect she has for you and so she is patiently watching and waiting. If you do not rise to the task, be sure to find her leaving.

Now, in as much as this is a good thing, the problem is how you manage the power she is giving you.

Do not abuse it.

Lead her…honourably.

Show her how much you respect her too. Respect her body. You have not paid her bride price and neither have you taken her before the Lord in making the sacred vows of marriage. Do not steal that which is not yours…even if she has said yes to date you or to be engaged to you.

Your relationship together is supposed to be a fellowship of two hearts and their collective communion with their Heavenly Father.

Your relationship is supposed to edify you both and bring glory to Papa.

Your relationship is a pruning process for the both of you…a union that is to make the both of you like Christ.

Trust me, if you do it the right way, you will experience and understand what I am talking about.

And you cannot do this on your own my brother. You need the assistance of Holy Spirit.

You need His Leadership. If only you would call on Him and invite Him in. He will lead you and guide you as you lead my sister.

You can do it. Yes, you can.

First things first, you need a relationship with God. No one knows love better than the Source of Love Himself. You need Jesus into your heart…He alone can bridge that gap between you and Papa. You need Holy Spirit to make the Love of God real to you. There is an overflow of love you can only have when in the presence of God.

Trust me, Holy Spirit truly instructs. He gives love a meaning…the truest meaning.

In ending, I pray for the both of you.

I pray that you set yourselves and your relationship apart from the set standards of this world.

I pray for your walk with God. I pray that Holy Spirit will open your eyes and ears to a deeper understanding of what love truly means and how to walk in it.

I pray that you lead my lady in the way that pleases Papa. I pray for an increased value in your eyes and heart for her.

I pray for you, young lady. I pray that you will see yourself for who you really are in the sight of Our Father. I pray that you will be a woman of purpose. I pray that you will not let go of yourself so much to your detriment. I pray that you will abound in your knowledge of your true worth and stand for what you believe in and for what is right. You are a Princess of the King…do not forget it.

God bless you both!

Thank you for choosing to bring glory to Our Father.

Your end shall be glorious!!!

With the greatest of affection,

Marlene.