Trust Me and show up

There was a time I felt like Papa would use me when I'd attained some level of experience or something...

Doing ministry has led me to times when I've wanted to run away and hide myself because I felt inadequate.
There have been days when I've sought for a million excuses not to do a task because of fear that I'll make a fool of myself or mess up completely... I guess the honest truth has been the fear that people would realise how much I do not know and tag me as empty.

I'm a crazy woman, I tell you.

I have my days.

I know nothing at all...

I always felt that I should attain some level of *umph* in the things of Papa to be qualified as one who preaches Christ.

I guess that makes me selfish because then it seems like this walk is all about me.

But, it's not so.
I felt that at least, I should be somebody with a track record of killing lions behind the scenes or slaying bears with my bare hands.

In my bid to flee, all Holy Spirit said was...
"Trust me and show up".
"Trust me and go where I send you"
"Trust me and do what I tell you to"

I am learning that for some of us, we'll have to face the lions on the battlefield.
We will gain the experience on the field.

He picked us up and placed us on the field.
There was no time for mock battles in the name of preparation.

We are facing the giants head-on as we grow...all on the field.

Trust me, it is not always rosy.

But Papa hasn't taken me into the part of the field where the fight is hottest...the kind of place where Uriah couldn't stand.

He is still protecting me...as He forever will.
....and after I have learnt what I must in this season, He'll take me to the next phase.

It gets hotter by the season.
Yet, it gets better.

...and like gold, we only become more and more refined by the heat.

It is well ❤

Still,
Sharing Life.

Comments

Go With God

When I started Sharing Life, my intention was to put out what I knew Holy Spirit was teaching me. This was what He asked me to do. It wasn't to parade myself as an all-figured-out girl who was on her way to becoming a preacher. It was a journey of life I was learning and one which I had received the go-ahead to let the world in on. Somewhere on this road, I was seen as a "Woman of God" and put on this high and mighty pedestal which wasn't me. And you know what, in such moments, it is so easy to get carried away by the accolades of men to the point where you lose sight of your journey, where you are and decide to serve the expectations of others... thereby neglecting your own journey and growth. After taking a very long break from active writing, I have on numerous occasions attempted to start writing again but the fear of being put on that pedestal has stopped me so many times. I am a child of God. I am a girl on a journey. I don't have it all f...

Daughter of the King by Jamie Grace ft. Morgan Harper Nichols

[Verse 1: Jamie Grace] They tell me I'm too young Tell me I'm not beautiful I'm not good enough I'm not worth anything at all They tell me I dream too much I got my head in the clouds Maybe I'm just hoping For something better than what I see now A world where every girl knows [Chorus 1: Jamie Grace] The Maker of skies, the Maker of seas The Maker of every beautiful thing He made you, He made you too The mountain high, the river wide He tells the sun when to set and rise And He made you, He made you too You're a daughter of the King So tell me, what does that make you? [Verse 2: Morgan Harper Nichols] So put your shoulders back Don't you know that you're beautiful You don't gotta tell 'em that, no Just walk around like you know And if you see our sister (if you see our sister) Looking like she forgot Like her dreams got crushed You better remind her [Chorus 1: Morgan Harper Nichols] The Maker of skies, the Maker o...

Day six: The perfect start

Waking up to pray has been extremely hard to do in the past few days. For some time now, I wake up in the mornings feeling more tired than I went to bed. And so although my eyes are open, it is a real struggle getting out of the bed. Initially, this morning, I was feeling bad about it. After a few minutes, I resolved to pray from my bed. I did that… and ended up sleeping at a point . It was better than nothing. That moment taught me that the perfect start is the one that happens from exactly where you are. There is a reason why God wants this relationship with us: aside from the fact that it is a love thing, God also knows that we truly and sincerely cannot make it in this life without Him. He Is not looking for a perfect daughter neither is He searching for a perfect son. He Is perfect and His perfection is enough for all of us. I remember those times when I would tell my spiritual father I was struggling to pray. He would say to me: Why don’t you ask the Lord to help you? Why d...

SHARING LIFE

Search This Blog