After my morning duties, I was caught up in a bubble of sadness.
It lingered for minutes.
Now there is something I am thankful for: I am thankful because Holy Spirit has taught me to pause.
Usually, when crestfallen, I have learnt to pause and to ask myself: "Why do I feel this way?"
Oftentimes I will find that I feel that way because I came across a post on Facebook or I remembered something that triggered it.
What I have come to realise is that the moment I identify what caused it, the sadness goes.
Now back to this morning...
...the sadness lingered on...
I was about to take a shower (still in that bubble) when I just paused.
So I asked myself, "Why am I sad?"
Then I figured why...
Kobe Bryant's passing has left me heartbroken.
I honestly didn't know him so well. I know great people who loved him.
"Yes, makes sense but why are you really sad?", I probed further.
My heart breaks for Vanessa Bryant. Especially her...
I love love. Although single, I have been blessed with the knowledge of what it means to find love.
I cannot begin to imagine what she is going through
I don't know how one can handle seeing your love in a minute and being told the next minute he's gone.
I don't know how one can handle not being there when the love of your life needed you the most.
How do you say goodbye to someone you weren't ready to let go?
How do you pick yourself up from this?
Makes you wish you could close your eyes and have it all go away.
If only you could hear his voice one more time.
What about the conversation you didn't conclude?
This hurts...
In those moments of questioning, it almost feels like a conversation between a mother and her little girl.
Yes, I am the mother and I am the little girl all at the same time.
I gently probe deeper and deeper to the root of that emotion.
Listen, sadness is not a bad thing. It is very human to be sad.
But it should pass, like the wind. It is what our minds conceive when it lingers that causes the problem.
What are you thinking?
Now the thing with the Pause is, it really helps.
It really picks you up.
I have learnt that evil (in whichever form) does not appreciate being questioned.
The very moment you stop to question that emotion or feeling or whatever, it disappears.
When we don't face the emotion, it lingers and builds foundations which have no place in our lives, in the first place!
Before we know it, sadness has grown into fear... into depression... into a mountain which should have been dug out even when it was a levelled ground.
It almost reminds me of 2 Corinthians 10:5
Let me end with this:
May the fear of losing the one we love not keep us from opening up ourselves to love
May every troubling heart find the peace which Jesus brings
May every broken heart be mended by the love of Christ
May the love of God envelope anyone who needs a hug right now
We are mourning Kobe not necessarily because we know him but because of the reminder of how good he made others feel about himself.
We are mourning someone who was a human being: he loved when he had to and he loved hard
We are mourning Kobe because of the example of who a father is, which he demonstrated unapologetically
This is why we hurt. We have lost a beautiful soul and a grounded individual.
RIP Kobe, thanks for living.
#Afterthought
Well, I guess it had to take Kobe's death to make me pick up a pen this year... sorry I've been MIA, guys.
It lingered for minutes.
Now there is something I am thankful for: I am thankful because Holy Spirit has taught me to pause.
Usually, when crestfallen, I have learnt to pause and to ask myself: "Why do I feel this way?"
Oftentimes I will find that I feel that way because I came across a post on Facebook or I remembered something that triggered it.
What I have come to realise is that the moment I identify what caused it, the sadness goes.
Now back to this morning...
...the sadness lingered on...
I was about to take a shower (still in that bubble) when I just paused.
So I asked myself, "Why am I sad?"
Then I figured why...
Kobe Bryant's passing has left me heartbroken.
I honestly didn't know him so well. I know great people who loved him.
"Yes, makes sense but why are you really sad?", I probed further.
My heart breaks for Vanessa Bryant. Especially her...
I love love. Although single, I have been blessed with the knowledge of what it means to find love.
I cannot begin to imagine what she is going through
I don't know how one can handle seeing your love in a minute and being told the next minute he's gone.
I don't know how one can handle not being there when the love of your life needed you the most.
How do you say goodbye to someone you weren't ready to let go?
How do you pick yourself up from this?
Makes you wish you could close your eyes and have it all go away.
If only you could hear his voice one more time.
What about the conversation you didn't conclude?
This hurts...
In those moments of questioning, it almost feels like a conversation between a mother and her little girl.
Yes, I am the mother and I am the little girl all at the same time.
I gently probe deeper and deeper to the root of that emotion.
Listen, sadness is not a bad thing. It is very human to be sad.
But it should pass, like the wind. It is what our minds conceive when it lingers that causes the problem.
What are you thinking?
Now the thing with the Pause is, it really helps.
It really picks you up.
I have learnt that evil (in whichever form) does not appreciate being questioned.
The very moment you stop to question that emotion or feeling or whatever, it disappears.
When we don't face the emotion, it lingers and builds foundations which have no place in our lives, in the first place!
Before we know it, sadness has grown into fear... into depression... into a mountain which should have been dug out even when it was a levelled ground.
It almost reminds me of 2 Corinthians 10:5
Let me end with this:
May the fear of losing the one we love not keep us from opening up ourselves to love
May every troubling heart find the peace which Jesus brings
May every broken heart be mended by the love of Christ
May the love of God envelope anyone who needs a hug right now
We are mourning Kobe not necessarily because we know him but because of the reminder of how good he made others feel about himself.
We are mourning someone who was a human being: he loved when he had to and he loved hard
We are mourning Kobe because of the example of who a father is, which he demonstrated unapologetically
This is why we hurt. We have lost a beautiful soul and a grounded individual.
RIP Kobe, thanks for living.
#Afterthought
Well, I guess it had to take Kobe's death to make me pick up a pen this year... sorry I've been MIA, guys.
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