Yielded; the prayer I failed to say

I recall when I was told at the beginning of this year that I was making baby steps in my spiritual growth.

I felt offended and at the same time, very confused.

I remember when I was told by another person that I wasn’t shooting up spiritually.

I thought to myself, “This man does not know what he is saying. Ha!”

I knew I could do better.

I knew I was meant to be better, but I was very relaxed.

Very very relaxed.

But after I was told these things, especially by my father-in-the-Lord (fithL), I was determined to build myself up.

You should have seen me at the beginning of this semester.

I was in so much of a hurry to build myself up.

I was reading and studying like something.

Eventually, I had forgotten Who the real Builder was and Is.

I had forgotten that the clay can never be the Potter.

I had forgotten that it was Holy Spirit’s duty to do the building… and not me.

In my frustration, I was telling my fithL about how much I had to do on myself and how sad I was about the entire thing.

Then he said, “Yes, you have a long way to go. But, if you are in His (God’s) rest, then there shouldn’t be a problem.”

Rest?

How could I have forgotten about that?!

I wasn’t in His rest.

But how could I have been in His rest when I had taken His work away from Him?

By His Grace, I found out my folly and I repented.

As I am typing, what I’m asking myself is, “But did you give it back to Him or you forgot about your pursuit in general?”

I think I forgot about it… I just relaxed concerning the entire thing.

I just relaxed.

But one thing I do know, is that, I determined in my heart not to do anything that would take me out of His rest.

(I should have still handed over to Holy Spirit officially, though…)

I’m wondering how many others have felt the need to become who they know they must become so much that they have become their own sovereign.

Mind you, I am not speaking against personal development.

Personal development is essential.

But, there is a point at which every child of God must allow his/her Father to carry out His work in His time and at His appointed pace.

What was my motivation for desiring to build myself up so quickly?

The prime reason was acceptance.

My desire for acceptance gave me the thought that I could only be accepted when I was mature.

…and I didn’t want to lose anything that was meant for me and so I wanted to shoot up so quickly.

(So, you see, my motive for pursuing God in this stage was entirely flawed too!)

Hmm…it is well.

Coming to terms with my true motive now, I am very glad I did not pray that prayer.

But maybe, if I had, I am sure Holy spirit would have revealed my own heart to me…I am very sure of that.

So, I ask you…

Is there anything you are doing presently that you know or now realise that you are doing by your own strength?

Have you yielded, completely, to the Potter of your life, to take over your life and to mold you to become who you ought to be?

If no, then please pray this prayer:

My Father, I thank You for Your word. I thank You for the light Your word brings.

Father, I have been my own God in relation to (put those things you have been using your own strength for here.)

Father, I do not want to take Your place in my life.

Holy Spirit, please, be my Lord and lead me on Your path.

Father, Your time, Your pace.

In Jesus’ name have I prayed.

Amen.

God bless you for taking this step.

It won’t be always smooth.

Your ability to be patient with His pace will be put to test.

But at the end, you would be so glad you yielded.

God bless us!