January 1st - Loving Jesus

You see those times when we are singing a beautiful song that talks about the love of God and we find ourselves going emotional over how we feel about Jesus (perhaps because of a thought that comes to mind during the singing or something in between those lines) and we find ourselves feeling the looove we have for Jesus?

Well I have come to learn that that is not always the case when we are loving Jesus...

Last week Thursday, at Mass, father was talking about loving Jesus and of how it fills a person up and about how beautiful the whole experience is. He then proceeded to ask how many of us loved Jesus. I was quite sad because in that moment, I wasn't at the same level of excitement and enthusiasm with which He professed His love for Jesus.

So when he asked, I didn't know whether to say that I loved Jesus or not but all the same, in that moment, something beautiful and extraordinary happened. In that moment of somewhat sorrow, Holy Spirit lovingly brought me to order. He reminded me that I love Jesus because I had made that choice to love Him and the truth is, in all honesty, I choose daily to love Jesus... by God's Grace.

Loving Him does not mean that I always feel the whole 'mushyness' but it means that my heart is properly placed. I can't describe the joy that reminder gave me (somewhere in 2016/2017, Holy spirit brought to my attention that I didn't love Jesus like I professed; the full story in a blog post on Sharing Life titled "Honesty").
This reminder was a perfect way to end 2018 and begin the new year.

By the Grace of God, I choose Jesus daily. I choose to love Him when I feel like it and when I don't feel like it. I love Him when I see what He Is doing and I love Him when I don't. Nothing beats the wholeness that comes with this.

I have written a letter of commitment to Jesus which I read to Him everyday. I do this as a means of renewing the vows I made to Him when I gave my life to Him. I do this to remind Him of my surrender to Him and to His will. It has become my act of worship. It is my heartfelt belief that He sees me and that He hears me when I say those words to Him everyday.

Loving Jesus will not mean that I always feel like I am in love with Him but it will forever be a worthwhile decision.

Beloved, it is well.

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