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In life; in death

I used to be that girl who would go through things and keep them to herself.
Medically, I have had and still sometimes have episodes that I haven't shared to any doctor simply because I don't think they last long enough for me to pay much attention to.

 Very recently I find myself in a place where I am forced to divulge every pain or 'episode' I have had over a span of 15years. 

 Coming to this point means that I have to think about the possibility of death.

 You see, I do not fear death.
I only fear dying and not having expended all the potential Daddy placed on the inside of me... this is what scares me. It would really really pain me.

 Aside all these, I am learning something about Who my(Our) Father Is.

 See, Daddy likes no superficial walk with Him.
When He takes You, He goes in real deep and He brings to light all the murkiness in your life...even hidden medical issues.

 These things are so private that I haven't made mention of these to my parents... :)

 Going back Home is not a bad idea at all. In fact, I would love to go there this very minute.
But going Home and not having lived my fullest for Daddy Is like He giving me ten talents and me bringing Him a medal for just one talent. He will be saddened by it. 

 Lord, may these episodes not be signs of any terminal ailment, I pray. Even if they are, I trust You enough to know that You Are Willing to make me clean.

 Amen.

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