I am learning that there are some 'demons' we all have to deal with very early when they show up.
I didn't have parents who were absent... they have been there all my life.
That notwithstanding, I had a 'troubled' childhood.
I am one who was deeply wounded by the words said to me in my childhood.
It is amazing how I wasn't affected by the things done to me more than I have been by the words uttered.
I thought I had healed.
I thought I had been freed from these words.
Little did I know that years later, I would come back to voice out how those words have affected me.
As a child, I was 'touched' in the wrong places and then blamed for it. I was called a witch and eventually, I thought that perhaps, I was. Then I wrongly accused of theft.
I was 9yrs old...and I wasn't so much affected by them.
...but when I voiced them out, I was called a liar.
It broke me.
Years later, I realise that the 'neglect' I experienced in my childhood had made it so easy for me to make those who accepted me home. I made them my home and they became the centre of my world.
It was easy for me to move from one man to another because of that.
It was easy for me to follow those who validated me and gave me 'love'.
...even when I had given my life to Jesus.
But God, He loves me so much!
He has placed me in a position where I have to address these issues.
I am in a place where I have to question why I do the things I do.
I am asking myself a lot of questions... probing into my own heart and mind.
It is hard...
...this is gong to break me down.
Father, please help me.
I didn't have parents who were absent... they have been there all my life.
That notwithstanding, I had a 'troubled' childhood.
I am one who was deeply wounded by the words said to me in my childhood.
It is amazing how I wasn't affected by the things done to me more than I have been by the words uttered.
I thought I had healed.
I thought I had been freed from these words.
Little did I know that years later, I would come back to voice out how those words have affected me.
As a child, I was 'touched' in the wrong places and then blamed for it. I was called a witch and eventually, I thought that perhaps, I was. Then I wrongly accused of theft.
I was 9yrs old...and I wasn't so much affected by them.
...but when I voiced them out, I was called a liar.
It broke me.
Years later, I realise that the 'neglect' I experienced in my childhood had made it so easy for me to make those who accepted me home. I made them my home and they became the centre of my world.
It was easy for me to move from one man to another because of that.
It was easy for me to follow those who validated me and gave me 'love'.
...even when I had given my life to Jesus.
But God, He loves me so much!
He has placed me in a position where I have to address these issues.
I am in a place where I have to question why I do the things I do.
I am asking myself a lot of questions... probing into my own heart and mind.
It is hard...
...this is gong to break me down.
Father, please help me.
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