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3/8 RELAPSE

I got the chance to work for a minister I met in the course of my Songs of Solomon era.
I was kept close to Daddy(God) by work.
Yes, I was working for him and for Daddy but my heart and my mind weren't settled.
I was there physically but spiritually absent... I was doing my job.
I came across a book whiles going through my boss' books. It was titled, 'The dangers of premature exposure'. 
'Could this have been what I went through?', I thought to myself.

Yet...

... I was hurt.
I was furious.
How could he have done this to me...

Anyway, I vowed never to look in the church to find love.
I retreated from the CCR...although I was going to church.

I was no longer passionate about the things of God.
Prophecy was far far from it.

I joined a group on campus... I liked the group.
It pushed me towards the path of liberalism.
I was influenced to be very open-minded.
I realised that I was flowing with the tide.

...care free...

The world tugged at me.
I went for a drink up and I was my old self again...grinding with the boys.

...it was a dark place...

My old self came knocking.
"return to us", she said.
I was in a wrong place.
The inclination to return to the world was so high.
I left campus.
I went to family.
I was scared to take a shower or be left alone in the room.
"Come to me", she said. I almost did...but for one friend, Mr. Theophilus Tuffour who was adamant.

Going back wasn't impossible.
But the emptiness.

I could have returned to the world.
But the fear of the emptiness that would lay it's filthy hands on me held me back!

The emptiness...i didn't want to go through that hollow again...

So I chose to stay.

Well, to stay in the light but not to be of it.

I met this guy in the group.
He was good-looking... the ladies' man.
He had two personalities... I was becoming like him. #lukewarm

The advice from friends to stay away was a lot more than I could fathom.
John said, "Mary no no not this one."
But my attraction to him was great.
He was a bittersweet pill...

The group took almost all of my time.
I was determined to succeed there.

I partially left the music ministry.
I wasn't ready to go back there.
I didn't want to.
(Well, I didn't want to do a solo too...'all the better', I thought to myself)

...

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