2/8 Songs of Solomon

I met my Ministry Head in the second semester and he told me I could change ministries. I was happy because of the smooth transition.

I met a shepherd at a programme who expressed his willingness to help me out with my concerns about music.

I recall however, one time when I was musing about the hows of entering the ministry, I heard Daddy say, 'Trust my Spirit... not your voice'.

...It was good to hear from Him...

Now back to the shepherd.

He was constantly checking up on me, offering me advice, visiting me, everything. He was there.
It felt good having someone constantly having you in mind.

Then one time, he dropped the bombshell.
He told me of how Daddy had made us one and how inseparable we were. He told me that I was him and he, me. Hence, even if I ever wanted out, I couldn't because as he got hurt, so would I too.

I was so eager to please Daddy. I remember telling him that if Daddy had said it, who was I to say otherwise.

Hahaha....oh poor naïve Mary Magdalene!

So here I was, in a relationship I hadn't planned for. Oh but yes, he was good looking and the feeling was good... I had a boyfriend. Haha.

But things weren't adding up.
I felt tied down.
I wanted to focus on my books but he said I  couldn't because he was me and I, him.
He said that if I tried ending the relationship, I would be greatly affected.

Within that same period, certain people I deemed in high esteem spiritually were all saying one thing...that I cut ties with this young man.

But he on the other hand was saying the opposite.

So, I was stuck.

Then interesting things began to happen; here I was, gratifying the desires of my flesh.

It then dawned on me that if I didn't end this relationship, there would be no turning back for me.

Fortunately, I had an encounter with some destiny helpers who helped me cut ties with him.

I was relieved yet greatly traumatised.

You see, within that period, a lot of things happened which I thought were spiritual advancements for not only myself but for my family as well.
I saw things and experienced great things.

I began to wonder whether those were God or another spirit.
I began to wonder why Daddy would allow me go through such an ordeal.
'I only wanted to do Your will Papa!', I would say.

But whose fault was it?
Had I known the Word of God for myself, I would have known that I was being manipulated.
Had I known Daddy for myself, I would have known that Papa would have confirmed His Word to me first.

Moreover, if it read my Bible, I'd have realised that this youngman was quoting Songs of Solomon.

I recall when I came out of this relationship...
I was mocked.
I was called a snitch.
I was blamed and told that I'd destroyed a young man's spiritual life.

I couldn't go to class.
I denounced Papa; I blurted out my regret for desiring to follow Him.
I would sit on my roomie's bed and cry...sometimes not knowing the reason for my tears.

Eventually, i vowed never to love anyone from the church. I told myself that even if I should meet a godly man, I should meet him in a group outside the church setting...maybe in a society or at a meeting or something.

...but not in the church...

I had lost taste for spiritual things.

What happened to my music life?

I forgot about it...