SOLD OUT!

When I sometimes attend Christian events and I listen to the sermons given (be it long or short), I cannot help but feel uneasy...

why?

Sometimes, you hear the person holding the microphone say something like, "When I was in school, I was so lost in the world; I was living in sin. There were those in school who were seriously active in the things of God and were everywhere talking about Jesus .  But now, those people are no where to be found and I, who was so worldly, am now preaching Christ..." and the testimony goes on and on.

In those days, when I heard words like that, I felt hurt and fear sometimes took the best of me because I was almost always worried whether I would be used by someone as a statistic in a scenario like that.

lemme be a bit clearer.

I feared that someday, someone might say something like the above statement with me in mind. Like, "oh Mary Magdalene who was always making noise about her relationship with Christ is no where to be found."

Most times, I wondered whether I had given my life to Christ so early. 

I often asked myself whether the life I had lived was evil enough or whether I needed to go back into the world to mess up more in order for me to not be like the Christians talked about in those testimonies.

truly... I really wondered about those things.

I used to wonder whether I had given my life to Christ so easily.

I wondered whether I had surrendered my life to the control of God through His Holy Spirit so 'cheaply'.

i guess that explains why in those days, i felt like i was pushing myself  on God so much. 

as though i were forcing Him to like me.

Very recently,  I am learning to allow these kind of people and even preachers to go ahead with their testimonies and for me to let go off the fear.

I am also learning that it is okay to be sold out completely unto Jesus Christ.

I am learning that there is never a thing as so early when it comes to a relationship with Jesus Christ.

I am learning that I have a role to play in making sure that I do not become one of the statistics in those testimonies; I must ensure that I do not become complacent in my walk with the Holy Spirit. 

I am learning not to become so familiar with the Holy Spirit that I overlook His Leadership in my life.

I am learning to dare to be different; I am learning to remain faithful (with the help of the Holy Spirit) in my resolve to accept my calling into a relationship with Jesus Christ.

It is very okay to be sold out for Jesus in this time and at this age. 

There is no point in remaining in darkness when the Light of Christ is ever-present and beckoning you to come closer.  

Don't stop living 'crazy' for Jesus!!!

Trust me...there is no other way...