Dear Mary Magdalene

Darling,

At some point in my bid to write this letter, I was a bit scared. Here I am, trying to tell you so many things through words which are, in essence, very limited in their bid to convey the needed and intended message.

Mary Magdalene, I am very very very proud of the person you have become. I can only imagine the caliber of a person you are becoming in the coming days, months and years…I can only imagine.

At first, before Holy Spirit came into the picture, I did not like you. I could not look you in the face…I never wanted to stare back at you in the mirror…ever. I never liked your face. I never liked your smile. I felt that you were ugly…just ugly.

I remember those times you wanted to end your life because you felt no one loved you. Haha…now we can only laugh back at those moments. Remember you had an exercise book where you wrote down mum, dad, mamaa and poppie’s names and then you added some of our aunties and uncles’ names and then you’d write next to those names whether they loved you or not?

In most of those times, those whom you felt hated you were more than those whom you felt loved you…then afterwards, you would attempt suicide. Thank God it never worked out!

I have seen you pass through some issues with a strength I cannot explain. How you moved on after those experiences, I can never tell. In some of those instances, I felt you should have put the blame on others…and not on yourself. I mean, there were times, even in your childhood, that I felt you should have been the victim and accepted that you were…but you never did. You always took the blame or named yourself as the cause of everything that beset you. Why didn’t you just be the victim???

You always saw yourself as the ‘black-sheep’ of the family; always the one getting into trouble, always the one towing a different line. Remember how in those times you would pack all your clothes into that big black bag and go downstairs, attempting to leave the house? Remember how you would place the bag at the garage and sleep there for hours before taking them back upstairs? Why did you never leave?

Then there were those years you never wanted to celebrate your birthday because they were filled with more sadness than joy? Mag, perhaps you felt too much?

What happened to you in all those times?

Could it be that you kept pushing and pushing your feelings deep deep deep inside you somewhere that you stopped feeling anymore? Perhaps unconsciously you became so toughened up on the inside that you built so many walls around yourself…bringing others in but not entirely in?

Now here we are.

It is a joy to look at you in the mirror and to stare in those mischievous eyes of yours…lol

Now, when I look at you, I see a beautiful young lady with a lot of mystery…what goes on in that mind of yours, sometimes I wonder.

Looking back on all these years, I can say that it has been a privilege seeing how you have constantly fought within yourself to always be a better person and how you have struggled with your mind up until this point.

I know you are better than you used to be.

I see your heart…it is beautiful.

I know your truth…hold on to it.

I want you to know, Mary Magdalene, that whenever you feel like giving up, please look back on how far you have come and always know that deep within you, there is someone who is cheering you on both to excel above and beyond!

Do not stop pursuing your purpose…I know it burns within you…He will be exalted!!!

There is an impending season…

I know your fear…Baby, rise up above it. Yes, you can.

Whatever the odds may be, the Mighty Hand that has upheld you right from your dark days to this point will continually be upon you and take you where you ought to be.

I love you forever and as long as we remain in the same body, know that I’ve got your back…in all seasons. I am not giving up on you…so don’t.

Love, always,

Marlene.