SHARING LIFE

I am learning that there are some 'demons' we all have to deal with very early when they show up. I didn't have parents who were absent... they have been there all my life. That notwithstanding, I had a 'troubled' childhood. I am one who was deeply wounded by the words said to me in my childhood. It is amazing how I wasn't affected by the things done to me more than I have been by the words uttered. I thought I had healed.  I thought I had been freed from these words. Little did I know that years later, I would come back to voice out how those words have affected me. As a child, I was 'touched' in the wrong places and then blamed for it. I was called a witch and eventually, I thought that perhaps, I was. Then I wrongly accused of theft. I was 9yrs old...and I wasn't so much affected by them. ...but when I voiced them out, I was called a liar. It broke me. Years later, I realise that the 'neglect' I experienced in my child...

I have seen and experienced so much of what love isn't and how it ought not to be. So much so, that I am scared I no longer have the courage to embrace what it should be or what it really is. A man i admire told me that he loved me... yesterday, he told me. I guess I am 'too caked' to give it a thought. My heart was beating fast... out of fear. I am tired of going through these motions all over again. Lord, help me embrace Your love. Please give me the courage to see Your hand at work in my heart. Help me embrace love when it comes my way. Teach me how to be vulnerable... again. Please teach me how to let go of the reins and silently rest in the knowledge that You Are in charge. I need You. Please, help me. ...waiting on YOu...

I woke up happy because I was visiting another church family aside mine. Missionhouse had a Thanksgiving Service to mark our fifth anniversary celebration. The Teacher, who is excellent in his ways, taught us excellently well. I must say, it was a good one. After church, I decided to pick a bus just so that I could walk from Circle to my home. Initially, my plan was to pick a taxi but then I decided against it because I wanted to let the church breeze fall on all those I would walk past on my way home. I boarded the bus and I got to Circle. …and there, as I walked through the station, in my beautiful kente outfit, I felt ashamed… I cannot express the depth of shame I felt at that moment. I had Good News which I had received from church and as beautiful as I looked, I was walking straight home by keeping it to myself. I felt selfish. I felt like one who had a great treasure which was grand enough to be shared among many a people but was unwilling to share. Ohhh...